we have pet lesbian snakes
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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