I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize