Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
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I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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