We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
where are my eyebrows?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
