how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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