so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
