After last night, I could never be a politician.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
