i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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