she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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