He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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