How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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