i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
