Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
