How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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