btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
