it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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