Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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