At least make sure they are 18
Why
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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