you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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