Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
