Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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