your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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