Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
