She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A bitchslap is in order.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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