So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize