I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
