I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize