I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
