wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
