I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
