Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
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We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
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Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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