ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?