yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.