Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...

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(318): View more from Louisiana

This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions

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(970): View more from Colorado

i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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(714): View more from California

My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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(317): View more from Indiana

What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions

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