Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.