he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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