I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
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he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.