Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

(650): View more from California

Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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(510): View more from California

im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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(913): View more from Kansas

He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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(914): View more from New York

you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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(256): View more from Alabama

she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.

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