Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.