I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
