Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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