His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We are all done wearing pants today
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