we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
