Only a mothe r could love this liver
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
