I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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