Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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