whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
