Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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