my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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