I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
