People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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