Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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