I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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