My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
