He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
