It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize