how can u be prego again
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
