My room smells like vodka and shame
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize