The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
