Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
