I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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