Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize