So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
