Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
