Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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