And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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