The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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