Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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