oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
