I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
